


FORGIVE ME FATHER

by smileyjeongin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Character Death, Homophobia, Internal homophobia, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:44:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileyjeongin/pseuds/smileyjeongin
Summary: temptations win, every time.





	FORGIVE ME FATHER

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” 

“How long has it been since your last confession son?” 

“Seven days sir.” 

“And what are your sins?” 

“I skipped mass on Sunday.” 

“Is that the only thing you came to confess? I sense there is something else you are not sharing. You seem hesitant.”

“Yes I... I kissed a boy.” 

……….

Jeongin was a good Catholic boy, he followed every rule, prayed every night, went to every mass, ate the bread and drank the wine at every communion. His entire being was thrown into worshiping God and being a perfect person so that one day when he died he could ascend into heaven. Hyunjin was Jeongin’s best friend and was exactly the same. They did everything together, bonded by their love for Christ and their public proclamations during their confirmations end, they were inseparable. It was this though that posed an issue because together Jeongin and Hyunjin had gotten themselves in trouble for the first time in their lives. 

The night started like any other, the boys had just finished brushing their teeth and saying their prayers and were tucking themselves into bed, snuggling close for warmth. It was common for them to sleep together because there was no other bed and as long as nothing came of them being in the same space it was fine. That’s what their parents said. Hyunjin’s lips had looked so inviting, so tempting, and it was too easy to push his own into them. The temptation after having one small taste was too great and it was effortless to fall into the trap that was Hyunjin’s lips. There was a heat in his chest that was pressed against Hyunjin’s, and a tingle in his fingers that pushed into his hair, feelings he never knew existed before that moment. It was a sporadic moment, a dangerous moment, but nothing in the world made Jeongin feel more alive. 

They had vowed never to tell anyone and never to do it again. But they both knew that words were weak. They should have known they wouldn’t be able to keep away from each other, not like that anyway. The next day had been Sunday and Jeongin arrived with his family, a heavy pit in his stomach as he walked into the church knowing what he had done. There he fully intended to pray, ask God to forgive him of his great sin. But what he did instead was the opposite. He sinned inside the holy church. A horrible, terrible act; but with his body pressed against the cool wall of an unused back hallway and his lips once again occupied by the plump ones of Hyunjin, he couldn't find the motivation to care. When it was over Hyunjin returned to mass and Jeongin went home. He was unable to live with himself after what had just happened and felt that God would never forgive him. He was surely going to hell. 

The day Jeongin finally went to confessional and told someone what he’d done he’d left out other important details such as the fact that he and Hyunjin had kissed every day since then, their hands wandered each other’s bodies, and in the beds they slept they held onto each other for dear life. The priest had told him God forgave him, he was freed of all sin and now that he’d fessed up he was once again on the path to righteousness and would be in heaven when he met his demise. The words of the priest made Jeongin wary and he didn’t want to have to confess of such a thing again and for that reason he avoided Hyunjin like the plague. It was frustratingly hard to turn his back on his best friend and it was even harder to pretend he didn’t want to be closer to Hyunjin as they had been when they kissed the first time. There was a change in the air that night, a stillness turned to goo just like Jeongin’s mind, a hunger and a need awoken in both parties involved. It was an unquenchable fire and it was how Jeongin knew that though he’d confessed of his sins, he was still damned to hell. 

……….

Jeongin thought his secrets were safe with the priest, he thought perhaps he could trust the one person who was supposed to be trusted with everything. It seemed he was wrong. He didn’t know how they were found but they were. He and Hyunjin were together again after so long of Jeongin’s denial only turned to more anger at himself and he finally caved, fleeing to Hyunjin’s side to feel his lips again. That much he knew for certain. What he had no idea of was how in the world they were found, why the priest would tell their secrets, why everyone he knew growing up and to this day were suddenly against him, why his own kin turned their backs on him because of the simple occurance of him kissing a boy. 

He and Hyunjin now hung their heads low in shame, their limbs tied behind them in punishment but only as a prerequisite of what was to come. Their fate would be much worse than the binding of a few arms and legs. Next to each other their posts were staked, and it was almost ironic. They started as inseparable friends and they would be their own undoing, inseparable now and forever more. It started as the priest opened his mouth, telling the village of their appalling sins, explaining the reasoning for their certain death. They were looked up at with disgust and a little drop of pity. Oh how the townspeople pitied those two young, handsome boys who couldn’t see right from wrong, how they really thought they could go on like they were and there would be no repercussions. Didn’t they know all actions have consequences? 

Then he lit the fire, burning at the base of the wood, licking their feet as it grew stronger. Like a symbol of their desire the flames grew and grew never ceasing, even now as they were being burned like witches it was still there. There was a tug in Jeongin’s chest as he cast his last look over at Hyunjin, watching the flames engulf him as he shrieked in agony. But it wasn’t because seeing Hyunjin burn hurt more than the pain inflicted on himself. It was because his own flames of torture were working their way into his skin. Some books said that seeing the pain of your lover is the worst feeling in the world and it was too bad Jeongin couldn’t relate. He was never in love with Hyunjin and he was certain that even if he was, the caress of the fire against his flesh would still hurt more. They tore him down until he was nothing but a charred corpse doomed to roam the underworld. At least down there he would never again have to ask for forgiveness.

**Author's Note:**

> i think it was long overdue that i write some good old fashion angst ;)


End file.
